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March 5, 2010

Ms. Mumbles and Mr. Reasonable

by Chris Arp, at 3:17 pm

There is a teacher at my school who mumbles every thought that passes through her head. Sometimes when she speaks, it is hard to discern whether she is talking to you or talking to herself. She pulls groups of students and works with them on reading and writing. Imagine her, old as the sun, surrounded by third graders who are all leaning in, striving to understand what she is saying. They are silent, listening. When they finally understand her direction, they get straight to work. When they finish, they hold up their sheets to her and she either mumbles in approval or does not. If she is silent, they set right back to work to find their error and correct it.

Cut to my classroom: I speak very clearly and in a nice loud voice. I give exact instructions; I tend to rehearse each sentence in my head before I say it. Imagine me surrounded by a roiling chaos of second graders, running around the room, throwing dominoes; the worksheets are on the floor, untouched, unconsidered.

What in the world is going on here? Why does Old Ms. Mumbles get total respect, while Young Mr. Reasonable gets none?

There is something ineffable, maddeningly ineffable, about claiming the respect and attention of children. I used to think of it as “experience.” So many frustrated nights, lying in bed, saying to myself: “Ms. Mumbles has years of experience, and the kids feel this in their bones. They know that you are raw.” I remember a conversation between two of my students: “Mr. Arp is an old man.” “No, he is a preteen. Or not a preteen. He is a teenager.”

But attributing Ms. Mumbles’ success to “experience” is not so edifying. For one, I have seen plenty of veteran teachers struggling with tough classrooms. Also, “experience” is too vague an idea. What is Ms. Mumbles doing right?

A teacher once told me: it is good to be a little crazy. Applying this strange advice to Ms. Mumbles, I can say: it is good to have a bit of distance between yourself and the kids. There should be a difference, in other words, between the teacher and the children. This difference is integral in maintaining order and stability.

I have so often found myself acting like a big second grader: “Why did you hit him?” “He hit me first, I was getting my hitback!” “No hitbacks in the classroom!” “Yes hitbacks!” “No hitbacks!” And so on, and so on. Even though I always win these arguments because, in the end, I am the teacher, the fact that I enter the arguments at all, that I allow room for arguments, lowers my status to that of a, well, preteen.

So my question is this: How can I fake the distance necessary to maintain authority and gain respect? How can I act in such a way that my children know, at all times, as a matter of course, that they are children and that I am an adult? I am finding it difficult to communicate authority on the subliminal wavelength of children in a convincing and consistent manner, when I was so recently a youngster myself. Perhaps I should try mumbling.

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  • http://nyceducator.com NYC Educator

    I don’t know about little kids, but I’m a great believer in frequent home contact. It works for me. Have you tried to get parents on your side?

  • D. Lee

    Arp – you need less time for free-flowing exchanges and tiny debates about preteen vs. teen aged teachers, and more time employing rudimental changes to your method i.e. workplan for the class. More tiny techniques – like Lemov’s taxonomy referenced throughly by your blog’s editor, E. Green in her recent article for The NY Times Magazine – will fill up the class time, along with your actual subject teaching (which I’m sure is watertight:)).

  • Joe Schmo

    Interesting blog. One thing that has always bothered me as a veteran middle school teacher are the newer teachers who try to be “friends” with their students. Trying to gain student respect by using slang or being coo is the surest way to be viewed as a non-authority figure. Most teachers figure this out in a couple of years and do get in a groove with effective management techniques that do not rely on the “cool factor”.

  • kelsey

    While mumbling goes too far, I think there’s something to be said for lowering your voice, in both tone and volume. With my own children and the high schoolers I teach, I notice that lowering my voice and and then speaking slower, saying the expected behavior, waiting a moment for compliance (but not so long it becomes a challenge), and then continuing at a slower pace helps establish a working, yet friendly environment. I’ve noticed it’s a lot like Super Nanny’s technique. You’re right, there’s a balance that you will find in being friendly and respectful, without being “friends”, and authoritative without being aloof.

  • http://filthyteaching.blogspot.com The Reflective Educator

    I’ve found this phenomenon to be true in my own teaching.  In my first two years, I couldn’t figure out what I wasn’t doing that other teachers were doing.  There’s something invisible about the respect an excellent teacher is able to command from their students.  It’s a confidence that seems to emanate from the way they hold themselves, the way the speak, and the way they run their classroom.  I’ve begun to acquire some elements of this invisible management in my last two (of a total of four) years, but still feel I have a ways to go.

    I believe my improvements have come primarily from sheer confidence.  I don’t get nervous before the first day anymore.  I’m not worried about something happening that I don’t know how to deal with.  I trust my instincts and my students can tell that I’m comfortable dealing with whatever comes my way.

    I also have to say, I kind of take issue with the veteran teachers who are always telling younger teachers not to care about whether their students like them.  One thing I wish I’d been taught in teacher school is that getting your students to like you is incredibly important, and you should work for it.  Relationships come before learning, especially with kids who come from relationship deprived backgrounds.  I don’t mean that you sacrifice authority and respect to gain their trust and admiration.  All of these things can be built at the same time.  And learning about the students’ culture and habits can go a long way toward getting a kid to trust and respect you.  It’s not about trying to be cool.  

    Although, I will admit I’ve seen plenty of new teachers who are only interested in trying to be cool.  Most of them are closer to their students age than the rest of the faculty though (I teach high school).  It’s definitely a maturing process.

  • http://themortonschool.blogspot.com Miss Eyre

    I agree with much of what you said, Reflective Educator, but I would take your “relationships are important” advice with a grain of salt.  Is it important to always treat children fairly and respectfully?  Of course.  Is it worthwhile to create an atmosphere in your classroom that is pleasant, and a mien that is helpful and compassionate?  Yes.  But is it *important* that students *like* you?  Well, I don’t know about that.  I imagine most of my students like me, or at least are benignly indifferent to their feelings about me.  I certainly like them well enough; having taught very difficult groups, I know what a reasonably nice and, well, reasonable group of kids is like.  But being *liked* is not my main concern, nor should it be any teacher’s.  

    Now, a general affection and respect will probably grow in the hearts of most students for a teacher who is smart, compassionate, and runs an orderly class.  All well and good.  But there will always be students who don’t like you for whatever reason.  A few children are, sad to say, biased towards or against certain genders, sexual orientations, races, and/or religions.  Some children simply don’t want to be in your class–because you have high expectations for work/behavior (hopefully both), their friend who had you said you were a lame teacher, or something is going on in their life that makes school unmanageable for them.

    A child like that deserves your time, attention, and care, yes.   But the “relationships are important” line tends to bring with it its evil twin sentiment: If a kid does something wrong, clearly it is the teacher’s fault for not cultivating a good enough relationship with that child.  There needs to be a basic respect for reasonable authority.  A child should listen to and respect a teacher under most usual circumstances.  That some children choose to do otherwise should not automatically 100% of the time be the teacher’s problem.

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